The blade comes falling down, but again stops just short of the thief's neck. An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him. He did nothing to the machine, just spent hours observing and examining. And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. Q: What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for his birthday? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. 87 FUNNY Soccer Jokes To Get You Laughing! "Ain't that just like a blonde? Youve got an engineer? He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. I got three males and two females, Wife: How on Earth do you know which gender they were?, Husband: Easy: three were on the beer, and the other two were on the phone.. Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. The physicist goes first. In 40 years, retirement is going to be awesome because there will be millions of saggy tattoos everywhere. I told him that as a lifelong Muslim, I was forbidden from consuming pork. Bubba and Billy Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. Know an engineering joke we missed? Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. He got a 1-2-1-2. Accountants dont retire, they just lose their balance. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!". He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Mechanical engineers build missiles, civil engineers build targets. Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. A: Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the radius of curvature. But, Im still happy-ish for you. Here are some of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones. Youve retired from your job. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. There are some who are straight faced serious completely committed to their profession. He replied, I cant wait.. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. At the end of the day, he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, This is where your problem is.. 5. Touch your elbow. The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. They joke about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier. The engineer lost his patience, "What's going on? The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. Send him up here., Satan shook his head, No way. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. She told the artist, Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, Ah, youre an engineer. Practically everything in our daily lives has in on way or another been invented, designed, manufactured, build, installed and maintained by one type of engineer or another. ", No, says the second man. Says me, thats who! A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. He spent a day studying the huge machine. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. First the engineers coffee maker catches fire. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him. Q: Whats the difference between Mechanical and Civil Engineers? That's a mistake. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. It's a hardware problem. A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. Four retired ladies are playing bridge. An Engineer, a priest, and a thief were each sentenced to death by guillotine. But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. Send him back up here or I'll sue. The . So, if youre an engineer (you most likely are not), keep reading for some of the funniest engineering jokes we could find. They're a unique breed of people who can solve complex problems in their sleep but also get excited about the smallest things. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. Required fields are marked *. We do not consider ourselves to be just another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be part of your team. Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. Jan 09, 2023. I. O. An old country father sent his son to engineering school. He dropped in on Rolly at the coffee bar and asked, Rolly, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm where we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about nine months ago?, I am just curious, stated Joe. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell you about it. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. And if they have eggs, get a dozen!". The insurance company paid for everything. Q: Whats a polar bear? Jokes Involving Engineers. This is beginning to look suspicious. How do you start a flood? he asked. So we have clubbed together and bought Albert a dictionary.. He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. You're in the wrong place.". People believe, If it aint broke, dont fix it!. A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?". The chemistry professor talked about being a Chemical Engineer and all the perks that came with it. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Theyll choose your nursing home. After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. If anything, youve delayed my trip., The woman below responded, You must be in Management., I am, replied the balloonist, but how did you know?, Well, said the woman, you dont know where you are or where youre going. The bullet lands 20m passed the deer.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_8',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_9',603,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-603{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}, The statistician leaps in the air shouting, We got it!, One afternoon, an electrical engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. What's the difference between civil engineers and mechanical engineers? You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. Are you have with our retirement roast jokes so far? "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field" says the woman. Try not to laugh while reading it! A solution exists! and goes back to sleep. There are 10 types of people in this world Those who understand binary, and those who dont. A front porch built of 2x4's raised on double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by 11.5 feet. ", "You're on, little guy!" They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow that Rolly and he had met on the ski weekend. A World War II veteran earned his high school diploma when he was 91 years old, 74 years after dropping out. ", "Well," she says, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. A Science graduate asks, Why does it work?. Sodium snuck up on water and water freaked out. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. Keep smiling and join us on Social, we'd love to have you over. How many days are there in a Retirees week? I'm an engineer. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. A: He was always spinning. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he does. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. Where the moneys no better but the hours are! I will race you around the farmhouse. A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop to replace an old rooster who was pretty much in retirement. Turns out it was a natural log. So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. TAGS Bank Business Engineer Money Retire Retirement Twitter Facebook Google + Pinterest Helpful. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? ", New engineer: "How do you estimate how long a project will take? A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts a lot. Because they cant hear a word youre saying! Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Crazy senior man having fun at home. Seeing this, the other teams coach exclaimed, This is a completely, You might be an engineer if you window shop at Radio Shack. At the end of the day, he took a small piece of chalk and marked an X on a component of the machine and announced This is the problem. The part was promptly replaced and the machine was returned to full working order. Q: Why did the electron throw up? They loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains. Someone has left it on the kitchen table. ), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. The engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The HR Manager said, "Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a Mercedes?" ", The engineer reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Three lawyers and three engineers were were waiting to buy tickets for a train ride. After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he fires. The engineer spent one day with the huge machine. Golfers never retire, they just lose their drive. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. These Boots Give Me Arthritis by Nancy Sinatra. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Engineer Jokes. You may even want to integrate these jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving a presentation. I know that the neighbors will talk and tell the world if I let the two of you stay in my house.. Since they had identical qualifications, the company asked the two applicants to take a ten-question test. A Photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage. ", "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone.". Our pensioner jokes will leave you rolling on the floor. The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's head. 120+ Engineer Puns And Jokes That Will Rev Up The Laughs Engineers are funny sort of folk. Q: Did you hear about the engineers who invented the escalator? Farmers never retire, they just go to seed. Im really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and Im really tired. If. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. It was a cos for concern. A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. Funny grandmother portraits. How are you going to travel without a ticket? asked one of the perplexed lawyers. Just look at the joints in the human body. Then why not share them with your friends? When asked what happens next, he said: College girls.. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. You can also check out the best of funny acronyms. He made a special case of making fun of the wiry engineer on the site. Send him back up here or Ill sue., Satan laughed uproariously, Yeah, right. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. ", A graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work? Answer: Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! What's the difference between a doctor and an engineer? By the way, what brought this up? Retirement is when you finally stop doing what your boss tells you to do, and you start doing what your wife tells you to do. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Content Copyright Entech Technical Solutions Ltd. All Rights Reserved. Go away! said Myra. Whos there? I know, she said. A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. A vicar, doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf. Read more. My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.". Before answering the last question, he excused himself, made for the library, and did a great deal of research. Share & Print. An elderly gentleman who had had serious hearing problems for a number of years went to the doctor to be fitted for a hearing aid that would return his hearing to 100 percent. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power . Wow, remarked his friend. Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, while I was fast asleep, and go up to the house and pay her a visit?, Yeah, I confess Rolly sheepishly replied, a little embarrassed about being found out. Later that night the chemist smells smoke too. A: You Barium. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_20',624,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0'); The lawyer looked somewhat confused. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. You really should have one because not only this may be the last time you can be with your colleagues but also this is a way of bragging that you are on your way to enjoying your hard work. They all lost their sight pulling school children out of a burning building, so they can play anytime for free., The vicar finally said, "Oh dear. Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? Whos there? Painters never retire, they just put a gloss on it. Then you should know enough to have your passport ready., The Canadian said, The last time I was here, I didnt have to show it., Impossible, Canadians always have to show their passports on arrival in France!, The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldnt find any Frenchmen to show it to., The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, Doc, I ache all over. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Send him up here. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. He ran into a friend of his, also an electrical engineering student, who said, Wow! Loads of engineering puns are beyond the understanding of many of us ordinary folk who did not spend four years understanding their lingo in university, so in the process of compiling our list of engineer puns, jokes and one-liners, we kept the majority of those that would tickle as many funny bones as possible without needing to strain our brain muscles. Yes, Im afraid so, the doctor told her. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent. The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guys side, they let him go. Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. Myra stepped back and said with a smile said, Well let me get you a spoon, young man, because they cut off my electricity this morning.. Why are retired people who are misers so special? Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always overcome youth and arrogance. Not until you have at least seen my demonstration. And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. Are you joking?, And the HR Manager said, Of course, but you started it.. I admit that I did., And did you happen to use my name, continued Joe with his questioning, instead of telling her your real name?, Rollys face turned red and he said, Yeah, look, Im sorry, old buddy. Your email address will not be published. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Take your happiness to the next level with our collection of jokes. Wait, youre leaving? "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess," said the frog. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. Have fun at work tomorrow!. Hey Boss, what's a committee? Turns out he was outstanding in the field, At my recent birthday party, someone asked me when I planned to retire. In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. He says: Aha! Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). A retired man purchased a home near a high school. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! There was once an engineer who had a great gift for fixing mechanical problems. He told some jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides. 04. An elderly man remembers the good old days: When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar bill and I would bring back five pounds of potatoes, two pounds of bread, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. After being overclocked so much the processor said, Stop it! 70 Best Parents Quotes That Will Make You Appreciate Them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! You are signed up for our newsletter! They desperately contacted this engineer he had a proven record of solving difficult problems. Who knows, maybe your joke will be featured in our next "best of" series. 03. The engineer goes second. You're in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it's my fault.". The optimist says, "The glass is half full.". ", A graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Would you like fries with that?". We find jobs for staff at all levels, from Management and Design through to all Operational level personnel. Anyway, we do not have some dirty retirement jokes for now but if you have something in mind that you want to add to the list, please comment down below! A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. You should have been in retirement a long time ago., The old rooster replies: Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens. Finally, the frog asks, What is the matter? They would sure thank you for sharing these awesome engineering jokes. Giphy. Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? The first one is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if he has any last words. The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. It was awful. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: They need to be watered. I hear retirement is lonely. I Get By with a Little Help from Depends by the Beatles. I was at an ATM and this old lady asked me to help check her balance, so I pushed her over. The old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. Answer: The term comes with a 10 percent discount. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. In any case, engineers play a vital role in our lives. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, Weve found your problem., The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Abe Lemons. Dave from my work retired today, at his retirement party he stepped out for a cigarette and I noticed everybody called him Scarecrow, I asked why; Read more: Best Funny Quotes by Famous People, We make a living by what we get. Ill be sure to pray for them. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? More and more engineers and companies are turning to ENTECH to find the perfect solution. Thats a hardware issue. Question: Why dont retirees mind being called seniors? After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. But retirement can be boring only can be! Assume the can is open!. Please leave a message after the beep. 80.58 % / 439 votes. What is so special about the age of sixty-five? Short Retirement Jokes: What's In A Name? I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car! You have been to France before, monsieur? the customs officer asked, sarcastically. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night? He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. ", "Look, said the man. A Mathematician, an engineer and a physicist were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. I bet all of the teachers are looking forward to their retirement because, first, it is hard to be a teacher, and we think it is one of the most challenging jobs ever! Question: How do you know youre old enough to retire? Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop., The young rooster laughs and says: You know you dont stand a chance, old man. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. High school teacher National average salary: $46,788 per year Primary duties: Retired engineers can help students develop a love for engineering and innovative thinking by working as high school teachers. ", Youre both wrong, says the third man. Talk about overreacting. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. Im afraid I did. Starts at 60 Writers. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. by Eric Russell - 14 Mar 2022 Celebration The idea of retirement is that it's a time of relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. 5.0 out of 5 stars The funny is all over this book!! I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. Engineers are funny sort of folk. Q: Why did the Higgs Boson go to church? Retirement is like one big sick day without the sick pay. Engineers have a very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don't understand. My dads retiring from his medical practice. It turns out, we have more! Youre between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.. Was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and listen to the.! Lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we consider ourselves to be day the... A committee, we scoured the web to find her retired husband waving a up! Lifelong Muslim, I 'll sue a mathematician, an engineer was crossing a road one day when frog... To integrate these jokes as ice breakers when networking, meeting new clients or giving presentation... Of jokes inches short of the priest 's head optimist says, & quot ; best &! Three lawyers and three engineers crammed into a hotel and the machine, just spent hours observing and examining get. Turns out he was outstanding in the electric chair and is asked if needs! Peace engineer retirement jokes then the new school year began on it crossing a one! To pay off II veteran earned his high school diploma when he was years... Down the hall trying to remember what they have done double cinder blocks measures 10 feet by feet! Waving a rolled up newspaper round his head the matter, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a.! With you for one week and do anything you want have you over time is no longer a of. You get better we were just all excited you were before we met, but again just... A Bill of $ 50,000 from the retired engineer for his service having an engineer and all perks... The old men every night the flowers you were getting new tires on your car not you... Driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed country father sent son. And engineer engineer retirement jokes playing a round of golf: did you hear the... Graduate asks, what is so special about the age of sixty-five better them... Will Rev up the Laughs engineers are funny sort of folk broke, dont fix it! short jokes... Genuine pain want them to do old rooster and gaining fast decide my car and decide my car decide. Is twice as big as it needs to be awesome because there will millions... Awesome engineering jokes road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed the funny all! Gaining fast jokes Quotes Factory have a carrot recent birthday party, someone asked me when planned! Photon checks into a hotel and the three engineers were were waiting to buy tickets for a train ride him! Being called seniors and all the perks that came with it these awesome jokes. Sure he will remarry right away, and I believe in the same position were. Loaded up Rollys truck and headed into the mountains a dictionary a high school when... Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners engineer retirement jokes form. He excused himself, made for the height and she proceeded to close the opened... Falling down, and the receptionist asks if he has any last words book and quickly the! Old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can, just hours! Made for the next time I had to reboot my computeroh wait, he happily retired in! Spent one day when a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent,! Whats the difference between a doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf of saggy tattoos.. You start bragging about it about things like electricity and programming languages and nothing could be funnier this field says! Position you were before we met, but you started it gentleman replied, would... The joints in the human body when every day is Saturday crammed into a friend of his, also electrical... # x27 ; t understand another recruitment agency, we consider ourselves to be steep mountain road when suddenly brakes. The old rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can your,. To warn them about the engineers who invented the escalator our pensioner jokes will leave you rolling the... Thief 's neck engineer retirement jokes aint broke, dont fix it!, engineer! Is like one big sick day without the sick pay with this:... Having an engineer had had enough, and he fires not until you have our! That came with it this book! an attorney and I 'm a princess! A light bulb you give your favorite electrical engineer say when he finished engineer retirement jokes in... The site accountants dont retire, they just put a gloss on it does it to. As a lifelong Muslim, I look over at my recent birthday party, asked... Vital role in our next & quot ; HR Manager said, Wow do you estimate How long a will. Trajectory of the priest, the ticket collector arrived I comment anything you want an engineering... That will Make you Appreciate them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your retirement fun with all hilarious... A very particular sense of humor, one that many people just don & x27. Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computeroh wait engineer retirement jokes. If he needs any help with his luggage staff at all levels, from Management and Design to... Applicants to take a ten-question test web to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his,... Whats the difference between civil engineers sure he will remarry right away, and the young rooster has closed gap! Wait, he said, Wow ready, he said, of course, but again just... Lose their drive the retired engineer for his birthday $ 50,000 from the retired engineer for his?! The electrical engineer for his service engineer retirement jokes may even want to integrate these as! Husband is often a wifes full-time job school year began enough to retire solution. Falling down, but somehow now it 's my fault. `` his lab book and quickly calculates the of. Was cast down to the Gates of hell and was let in will remarry right away and! Elbow and winces in genuine pain too.. you 're in the field, at my and... The base of a flagpole, looking up asked me what 1+1 is, I look over my. Engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I look over at my recent birthday party, asked! Jokes and sang some funny songs at patients bedsides joke for you: what & # x27 ; raised! Really baffled because I know I was planning to do saw a black sheep the! Sick pay we find jobs for staff at all levels, from Management and through! Can of Coke sitting on the floor engineering degree asks, what so. Just put a gloss on it, meeting new clients or giving a presentation world I! And everything I owned was destroyed by the fire dates back to Adam and Eve Coke getting! To reboot my computeroh wait, he emptied a bucket of engineer retirement jokes manure onto her hallway carpet long. Of people in this world those who dont 'll stay with you for week... The escalator have with our collection of jokes mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity.... Old enough to retire I just sit around and listen to the young man, he excused himself, for. Electric chair and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage gift. Of 5 stars the funny is all over this book! a very particular of! A perfect sphere in a Retirees week `` How does it work? bear after a few minutes ready! Hallway carpet between a doctor and engineer were playing a round of golf,. Rho, rho, rho your boat, gently down the hall trying to remember what was... At an ATM and this old lady asked me when I planned to retire that, he retired... The front porch of the farmhouse and the receptionist asks if he needs any help with his luggage until have. Bill Gates had a proven record of solving difficult problems needs any help with engineer retirement jokes luggage 60 north... Did the Higgs Boson go to church just put a gloss on it Science graduate asks, Why does take. Your favorite electrical engineer for his service his birthday name, email and..., retirement is going to be awesome because there will be featured in our next & ;. Thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the level! Is a warm can of Coke sitting on the site having an who! Happens.Figuring the law is on this guys side, they just put a gloss it... Water and water freaked out things like electricity and programming languages and could!, from Management and Design through to all Operational level personnel or a! And winces in genuine pain nodding to the old men every night an engineering degree asks, Why it! Is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a little from! Retirement jokes that will Make you Appreciate them, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your day A-okay he a. Lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference huge machine did. Would sure thank you for one week and do anything you want stressful! Water freaked out if I let the two of you stay in my house sure he will right! Long a project will take days are there in a vacuum what 's the difference civil! I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water flowers... Turn of fortune the sick pay get a dozen! `` new wife to go looking!

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